Predictions for 2007

Chuckling Your Way to Enlightenment

Nope.  There's No Death

To best survive and thrive in 2007, work on your flexibility, especially when it comes to duck and bob motions, because, the way we see it here at Team Ruby, there is some poop heading for the fan.

The Team suggests some ways to dodge trouble.

• Pay attention.
• Think and take action.
• Love and be lovable.
• Rather than getting mad, declare untenable situations to be ridiculous, appreciate the absurdity and then get in there and see what you can do to change it. (“Wow, this is not a good time. Let’s fix it.”)
• Breathe extremely regularly.

Even with all these warnings, we here at Team Ruby wish to offer the assurances that in 2007, puppies and kittens will still be cute and cuddly, a brief August rain will settle the dust - making the air smell sweet, and infants will continue their fascination with their toes.

Heaven, Earth, and the Weather Channel:

When asked about natural disasters and storms, I see Miss Earth as a dance hall girl, one who has been kicking and whirling around. These days, she’s taking a little break, catching her breath, sitting out the next couple tunes. It looks like she’ll hoist her skirts and dance another jig late in 2007, maybe early 2008.

We don’t see any mass levitation to the Mother Ship for this year, but it might be prudent to add some big boulders out in front of your Pacific beach place.

Four out of five mystics admit to storing water, why don’t you?

Iran in 2007: Iran is prepared for armed conflict with anybody. I’m seeing large buildings and underground depots with rows and rows of military hardware. They are not spoiling for a fight, more like Boy Scout total preparedness. They have the weapons, and the weapons are in good shape and ready to go. Iran has no plans to launch any attacks; they’re sitting , bemused, watching. Iran observes neighboring countries and the United States, asking themselves, “What are they doing Now?” Iran doesn’t want to get into any kind of war, mostly they plan on using their accumulated power tools to get their way in any negotiations.

What’s Going On with the Decider?

A friend posed the following: “What nefarious things will Bush do in the next two years? Will he do the really scary thing and suspend the elections in 08?”

The guides provide the following: Well, you know, it depends on the day. He has long time connections with people in far off and not so far off places. He could have a bad week, get a little down in the dumps, and attempt to ask someone to attack, especially from within the country. By 2008, there could be some real messes for each political party at their conventions, and throughout the end of the campaign; messes making it necessary for him to stay in office.

Mostly, though, in his heart of hearts, George gets homesick for the ranch and wants the whole Leader of the Free World gig to be over. It stopped being fun. He doesn’t get to have the vacations he wants, it’s more difficult to bully people, so for 2007, we see him disappearing like Cheney, and then talking crazy in public. It sadly looks like he becomes estranged from his daughters, and the Secretary of State.

The guides also suggest that there’s some cloak and dagger shenanigans going on with Cheney and Haliburton. There is a group of people with extensive information which portrays the Vice President, and Haliburton, in a less than favorable light. The investigators have a damning paper trail, which shows the Vice President making great financial gains from the war, but the last bits of data are yet to be uncovered. It’s unknown whether the investigators will come out on top, causing, at the very least, shame and embarrassment, or, if for all their trouble, they are silenced and “vanish.”

The Integrity Challenged:

Let’s say a person has chosen to firmly embrace his or her shadow side, deciding the laws of math and accounting are so limiting, those pesky ordinances are for others, and that bribes and kickbacks are the lube that keeps the engines of commerce running smoothly. For 2007, we see hand, face, and fanny slaps, as well as more indictments for the integrity challenged. We see that holds true at every level of business and government.

Everyone’s Personal Success:

The guides announce some of you will be more successful in 2007 when you spend less time analyzing and act more quickly. Think about Tarzan and Cheetah’s vine swinging transportation process; momentum is what makes the ride work. If Tarzan were to stop and say, “Hmmm, this one is nice, but I’ll get splinters. Oh, I like the leaves on this one but it’s too short,” - he wouldn’t get anywhere fast, just someplace eventually. It’s so good he engages in some observation before making his choices, otherwise he’d grab some big snake or a cat’s tail. The same goes for you. Grab with discernment and fly away.

The guides also suggest that 2007 will be a good year for winners, and the trick is for you to decide at what you are the best. There will be plenty of opportunities for you to think, “Oh, Frost My Cupcake, I’m such a loser!” The challenge is for you to quickly shift your focus to how you are a winner. So, for example, when you find yourself feeling guilty for all the sheets of crumpled paper that resulted from clearing out the jam in the photocopier, take a breath and say, “This may not be my finest hour, but few equal my ability to parallel park.” Be a winner. What is it that you do really well? Braid wiggling kid hair? Clean windshields? Dance the Limbo? Me, I can sing the fifty states in alphabetical order.

Predictions for the Pacific Northwest:

We suggest, if you have the sense God gave a post, anchor your book case to the wall and put some putty under your favorite knickknacks. It looks like the neighborhood volcanoes, Hood, Tabor, and St. Helen, are doing a little underground fluid exchange. It’s not so much a Rider of the Apocalypse mass destruction kind of thing, more of an inconvenience, with pockets of Holy-Smokes-What-a-Mess.

Local Housing Market:

Questions regarding the 2007 Portland housing market caused the guides to show me a little movie of a jockey in bright green silks riding a big powerful horse. They are galloping down a road with no landmarks or signs; this horse and rider are going nowhere, extremely fast. They disappear into a fog. The emerging vision is a jester in the same bright green silk, prancing along a high mountain ridge. He dances on a narrow path, perhaps only twelve inches wide. On one side, a steep, nasty cliff of declining prices. On the other side, a slight drop down to a long flat ledge. If the jester jumps down to the ledge, the path remains flat, as long as he pays attention and doesn’t slip into one of the many crevasses. So, the way I’m reading these portents -- the market holds flat for a long time, and then after a period of uncertainty (an election?) there’s a fifty-fifty chance it makes a really spectacular bloody crash, or stays steady in most markets, with some dreadful pockets.

Jobs:

Our region’s job market looks like a Chinese checker board -- the marbles are jumping all over the place. Jobs look like they are disappearing, and, well, they are. Take note, though, new jobs are showing up in other locations. The key to success is the ability to figure out how to apply what you already know and can do, and morph that into what the marketplace needs.

Science and Destiny:

It grieves me to write this, but it’s a year for people in hard hats to take a long look at the river side foundation of the OMSI building. The up side of this exercise is the ease with which they will be able to develop an interesting exhibit on hydrology, erosion, and architecture.

*** Parts of this prediction essay appear in the January 2007 issue of Connexions, published in Portland, Oregon.

Subscribe Now to Receive News and Advice from Team Ruby: